Recently, we were honored to attend a friend’s memorial service for their mother.
As we entered the sanctuary a beautiful family photo was on the overhead screen. It was a beautiful image of what we saw lived out each week when we gathered for church.
However, it wasn’t until Jane*, (names changed to protect the privacy of our friends), the daughter-in-law of the decedent began to speak did we learn their family was just like many of our own.
Jane* prefaced her eulogy with the following statement, “Before I begin, I feel I should warn you that what I’m about to say about my mother-in-law Sharon*, may be rather controversial and painful to hear for those of you who have wonderful, loving relationships with your family members. Ours… unfortunately, was one marred by hurt, distrust, anger, and pain.
Fighting back tears, Jane* went on to explain that she and her husband had tried endlessly to build a bond with Sharon* but something in her mother-in-law’s past had caused her to become a difficult person to love. In fact, Jane mentioned her husband’s efforts stating, “he is the most forgiving person I have ever known.”
I believe Jane did everyone in attendance a great service with her transparency of their family dynamic. It was riddled with heartache and hardship and loving perseverance.
We don’t need to remain in our brokenness as Sharon did, hurting and lashing out at those who try to love us. Instead we can be changed to love deeper and with a forgiving heart just as Christ did through Jane and her husband.
Jane shared how thankful she was for Jesus. Because although Sharon’s life was riddled with heartache, she loved Jesus. And because of her love for Him, she was no longer in pain. She was completely whole because of the love of Christ. The Sharon we all knew no longer existed. The moment she passed, she left all of that behind her and entered heaven whole. She didn’t carry her pain into heaven.
All because of the blood of Christ.
What a beautiful reminder that the Sharon we knew on earth is not the Sharon in heaven. She’s been made new. And one day, just like Sharon we too will pass and the moment we do, we too leave behind all our brokenness, pain and sorrow and embrace God’s love, wholeness, and joy.
Which leads me to think…will we even recognize one another?
I believe we will. But not because of our past but because of whom we love.
Jesus.
In the meantime, as we walk this earth, Jane’s words remind me that we all need Him. We need the love, grace, and forgiveness of Christ.
If we can begin looking at ourselves and others through the eyes of Christ and not through the damaged lenses of sin, we will be changed. We can begin to understand that we all come from a place of brokenness. None of us have this thing called life down pat and perfected.
With Jesus there is healing and hope. We do not have to remain shattered. We can walk in the way God designed us, to love Him and to serve those around us.
What hope springs forth from God!
This is my prayer for us, that Christ would change our sight so that we would begin to see ourselves and others as God intended and not through the tainted view of sin and pain.
Remember, His Word says that God does not look on man as we do, He looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) And thus, should be our guiding step towards our relationships.
I pray today and moving forward the good Lord would allow us to be changed by His Son Jesus so that we may give to others what He has so abundantly given to us, forgiveness, grace, love, and hope.
Until next time,
May God bless and keep you in His arms.
Psalm 103:2-5
2 Bless the Lord, my soul;
and do not forget all his gifts,
3 Who pardons all your sins,
and heals all your ills,
4 Who redeems your life from the pit,
and crowns you with mercy and compassion,
5 Who fills your days with good things,
so your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.