Mom Moves Home

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In the past 4 months, I would bet most of you have experienced change. LOTS. OF. CHANGE.

Prior to COVID my husband and I were anticipating a soon-to-be empty nest. June was our deadline to have both of our adult sons out of the home and on their own.

Until the whole world was flipped upside down and our old ways of living turned into a “new norm.”

Not ones who get too upset by change we figured, what’s a few more months? We’ve come this far with the boys at home, what’s a little more time?

But let me be real here. We were disappointed.

Now don’t get me wrong, we love our boys. Like many of you, outside of breaking the law or something like bungee jumping off a bridge, The Hubs and I would do anything for them.

But when our plans for empty nesting flew out the window, we had to seriously take a step back and reevaluate the next timeline. How long would they be staying? When would they leaving? With COVID always looming over our daily lives, would they be leaving?

Eventually our disappointment washed away, we began accepting that we don’t know what tomorrow brings. We can plan and prepare but until the opportunity to actually help our sons move out, we’re all in a status quo.

This was our lives until, 2 months ago, our lives changed yet again. Expectations of a future tomorrow where the it’ll just be me and The Hubs once again flew out the window faster than a fly being chased by a swatter.

Mom moved home.

Yep. You read that right.

Mom moved home.

Dad passed away almost 2 years ago and the grief for mom is overwhelming. She feels lost. No one and no where feels like home. Which is understandable because let’s face it, you can’t live 50+ years with a spouse and expect to go on living as if nothing’s changed the moment the funeral is over.

Grief, loss and loneliness come in waves. They crash into her day like an unexpected tsunami leaving emotional debris and destruction in its wake.

So when the call came that she was thinking she’d like to come up for the summer, I had to be really honest, like, look Ma, we’re at capacity, but if you want to jump in, we’re here to catch you.

Jump she did.

Which basically equates to 5 humans and 4 dogs under 1 roof.

Yikes!

So how are we coping-slash-surviving?

Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace upon more grace, upon more grace, grace, grace, grace and finally…grace!

Yep. All from the good Lord above.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

God’s grace. My weakness. His perfect sufficiency.

We’ve all come to reside under one roof. Seeking rest and healing from all of our own individual trials. We are broken people with disappointments, hurt, anger, frustration and now COVID. Seriously…if my house isn’t the next Instapot ready to explode I’m not sure what is.

And yet…

God is able. With lots of prayers, God is able to give grace and understanding on a moment to moment basis.

Let’s be real here. It’s not all roses and candy. There are testy moments because of unspoken expectations, misunderstandings when we stop being the poster child of “we’ve got it all under control” and fight our human nature to simply explode on one another.

Prayers are my lifeline.

It’s not easy. Trust me. There are moments when I’m caught in the crossfire of a rebellious adult child and my mother giving me the “you-oughta-do -something-right-this-minute” look.

Yes, there are moments when my sanity is tested. That’s when I walk away. Clearer heads prevail. Emotions, tend to get me in trouble and make matters worse.

God is able.

He alone is abundantly capable to heal our damaged lives while giving us the tools to gracefully co-exist in a multi-generational home.

When we as believers sit at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to lead us in this new life we can find rest, strength, wisdom, grace and every tool necessary to walk with the grace of Christ in the challenges we face.

Yes it’s possible.

No it’s not easy.

It’s a bumpy ride. This is life and family. Not the Instagram version. I’m talking about the dark side. Unspoken hopes. Old hurts resurfacing. Bad habits driving everyone bonkers. Tears, arguments, curse words. All of it.

Maybe you’re like us. Kids and parents are knocking on your door and you’re watching your freedom and empty-nest expectations evaporate right before your eyes and you’re wondering if you’ll ever have quiet again. Or maybe you’re the ones forced to go back home and it feels like failure.

What then?

Pray. In every conversation. In every moment, seek His wisdom and then do what He asks you to do. Sometimes He’ll take you out of your comfort zone to engage in challenging conversations. Sometimes the Lord may ask you to step out and pray openly for your family at the evening meal which may start a firestorm.

Good.

Just remember, God created families. He loves your family and wants your home to be filled with love, grace, joy and peace so that you may be the example of all the goodness of God to a waiting world that destroys and tears apart families.

I hope this encourages you today to remember God’s goodness in every part of your life, whether it is empty-nesting, feeling the squeeze of family members moving in or if you’re the one moving home.

May you take time to honor the Lord and thank Him for it all.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding. To Him belongs eternal praise!” ~ Psalm 111:10

Until next time,
Blessings and best wishes,

Dream A Little Dream

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This afternoon I rushed home, eager to change into comfy athletic gear and take our dogs out for a walk. The past few weeks with its endless dreary rainy overcast days and a flu virus quarantine at the assisted living community where I work, left me feeling worn down and in much need of a serious dose of Vitamin D and fresh air.

Lickety-split I was in my favorite Nike’s, headphones on and the pups were on their leashes and we were basking in the warmth of the sun.  As the dogs and I tooled around the neighborhood I pulled up my latest selection on Audible and hit play.

Christian author, Elizabeth George is one of my all-time favorites. Not having grown up with many godly influences in my life, I always listen intently to Mrs. George share her godly wisdom through her book, “A Woman After God’s Own Heart.”

As I listened while the dogs played, something Elizabeth said caught my ear, “Dream of being a woman’s after God’s own heart.”

Dream…?

Something about that word really piqued my curiosity and the little kid in me, rose to the surface as I tried to think of the last time I actually dreamed of anything. It had been way too long and just like my need for a little sunshine, dreaming, it would seem was something else I needed in my life.

In fact, the more I toyed with the idea of dreaming about being a woman after God’s heart felt like someone was asking me, “If you won the Mega-Bucks lotto what would you do?”

Well dear friends, that’s what so exciting about Elizabeth’s words of encouragement, we don’t have to wait until we hit the lotto or relocate or start a new job in order for things to change in our lives. We can be proactive, take stock of where we truly are in our walk with the Lord, in our marriage, our relationships with our children, friends and family and honestly ask ourselves, “where are we and what would we like to change.”

I think part of the reason I was am so excited these days is because I realized while walking that I was living on autopilot. I was so caught up in making a living, getting through the day, and just getting by, that I’d somehow stopped enjoying living. Life was mundane.

Routine.

Redundant.

Now that’s not to say I wasn’t grateful. A quick look over my life and I will be the first person to tell you that the good Lord has sought fit to bless this sinner with more forgiveness and grace than I’ll ever deserve.

But somewhere along the way I had forgotten how to live.

Here’s the deal, that list of to-do’s sucked the life out of me even affected my time with the Lord. It was stale. Boring. Blah.

Jesus warns us, saying, “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” Revelation3:15-16 (NIV)

There’s danger in becoming apathetic, in simply giving up and accepting a pasty relationship with God.

Now is the time for a little daydreaming.

Life could look different.

Once home from my walk and energized by Elizabeth’s words, I began asking myself how was I going to break this cycle of repetition and low-level boredom in my daily life and spiritual walk? What needed to change in my walk with Jesus? Which areas needed a good cobweb cleaning and which habits need to go into the emotional trashcan?

Almost immediately thoughts began to permeate my time with God.

I missed women’s bible studies.  I missed the comradery and accountability that comes from spending time with other God-centered women and ultimately the growth that comes from being in God’s word.

The church we attend is small and we don’t actually have a women’s ministry per se. But why should that stop me or any other woman who wants to draw closer to God? It shouldn’t.

Which then led my pen to paper to scratch out ideas on how I could start a group, invite others to participate and frankly get me out of my comfort zone and cause me to stretch and grow my faith with God.

Boo-ya! Within minutes ideas were flowing onto the pages of my journal and for once, in a very long time, I was excited about the possibilities.

Now the tough part…

In order to not fall prey to my old habits I needed to take action. Which led to more brainstorming, more journaling and a list of ways to help get this group off the ground, including researching a good bible study to offer, connecting with our Pastor to garner his support and of course, first and foremost, talking to God about this idea. I can’t wait to see where He takes these ideas!

How about you? Are there areas that have grown stale?

If so, I encourage you to grab a journal, find a quiet spot, pull out your bible and spend some time with God asking the tough questions of yourself and of Him. Share your heart and your daydreams.

Who knows us better than the good Lord above? Who wondrously made us and knows every hair on our head? He loves you and I and He waits to spend time with us.

May your time with the Lord bubble up new dreams for your life. Don’t settle for apathy. Don’t settle for being lukewarm. Get out there, talk to God and give those dreams a chance to take flight.

Until next time,

Jesus loves you!