6 eggs and a dream

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It started in Oklahoma.

I must’ve been reading a homesteading, gardening, back-to-the-earth type blog when I knew I wanted chickens.

That was 4 years ago when a relocation from Oklahoma City to the Pacific pushed that dream to the back burner.

Dreams of a garden and raising chickens were gone like the northwestern sun in January. Replaced instead by the dreary rainy truth that I may not ever own my own home again and/or own chickens.

Painful life events happen forcing change.

But what about dreams? Hopes? A vision for a different life…do we simply give up? What about when we can’t see that it’ll ever come true, do we give up then?

When I realized getting back into our own place where we could settle in was on a temporary-could-be-full-time-permanent basis, I was madder than a wet hen, as they say.

I struggled with my anger. Vented my feelings to God and then in sheer exhaustion, gave up. I saw the road blocks we were facing as insurmountable; the life I had hoped for when we moved to the Pacific Northwest was gone.

Until, a friend asked me to chicken-sit her hens.

In a heartbeat I agreed.

Now you can say I let my emotions override my logic in this instance or maybe it was something close to lacking 20/20 vision, because as I was chicken-sitting those hens all I could see was what I had lost. I would lament over and over to The Hubs, “if we were still in Oklahoma I could have my own chickens.” (Not true, we lived in a HOA run suburban community that sneezed at the thought of chickens in the neighborhood, but I’m blind to my own truth at times.)

I continued whining, fussing, complaining.

My poor husband.

Poor God. He put up with all of my constant fussing too.

Fast forward a year, and this summer I was once again asked to chicken-sit only this time for 5 weeks. I jumped at the chance.

And then it hit me.

You’ve answered my prayers Lord.

Not in the way I had planned but in a better, more feasible way.

God provided Connie, a good friend from church who needed help chicken-sitting while she traveled to see grandkids.

I needed experience. Let’s face it. Wanting chickens and taking care of chickens are 2 entirely different things.

So God has given me an answer to my little dream.

Learning without owning.

My friend Connie is trusting, gracious, knowledgeable and so patient with me as I test out my own “wings” when it comes to chicken-sitting her “fluffy butts”.

I share all of this for a number of reasons:

  • God hears us and He cares about every little thing in our hearts. Yes, even chickens!
  • Sometimes God answers prayers in a different way than the way we asked.
  • Because of His love and provision I am able to take this opportunity to learn, grow, build a new friendship with Connie while taking care of a clutch of chickens.

God knows what we need/want even before we ask. So ask!

What may initially look like a “no” may actually be a “yes”.

Finally, can I share with you how humbled this makes me feel? To know that God, in His infinite wisdom, grace, love and provision, heard me?

When you compare my dream of owning chickens to curing cancer or world peace, it seems quite frivolous doesn’t it? But God still cares, He still hears us and He still answers.

So be on the lookout for answered and unanswered prayers, knowing God loves you and will always be working for your benefit.

Until next time,

Blessings and best wishes,

Step Into The Valley Unafraid

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During my prayer time today God led me to Ezekial 37, The Valley of Dry Bones.  Today, I believe God wanted to remind me that I am always walking in the Valley of Dry Bones.

We all are.

In every area of lives there are those who desperately need to hear the word of God.

I’m one of them.

Every day I need the refreshment of God’s promises of love, the reassurance He’ll never leave my side, that He’s right there in the thick of things in my  life and He’ll never, ever let me go.

I am a sinner. Plain and simple. I need Christ more today than I ever have. 

Each day brings forth its own set of challenges. Things that I cannot handle on my own. I have aging parents that live 1500 miles away and I’m helpless to meet their needs.

I have grown children who make decisions that make my stomach clench in knots and cause sleepless nights, soul exhaustion and plenty of gray hair!

I am surrounded by those who openly oppose the Lord and challenge me each time they see the cross I wear around my neck. It’s draining.

And yet, I truly believe that I am right where the good Lord wants me.

What about you? Do you feel so alone you might as well be in the Mojave Desert with the hot winds of isolation, the heat of fear pounding down, sapping every ounce of strength, leaving behind exhaustion and thirst for a better tomorrow?

Maybe you are so broken, tears no longer fall.

Friend – God is with you. He loves you.

Do you believe that truth?

God asks Ezekial, “Son of man, can these bones live?”  Ezekial answers, “O Sovereign Lord, only You know.”

Let me ask you, “Do you believe God can breathe life back into you?”

Lord only You know.

It’s not a matter of if,  it’s a matter of will He?

There are people, places, things in our lives that God may not revive or restore to us. Such as a toxic abusive relationship. Or maybe a great job was taken from you due to a company restructuring and the timing couldn’t be worse because your rent went up $200,  your child fell at school and busted his front teeth and needs $1000 worth of dental work and your car needs a new battery. Or what if your baby girl just lost her battle with leukemia, the funeral is set for Saturday and you don’t have the will to get out of bed or to run a comb through your hair because the pain is so deep, so raw, you can’t breathe.

Is God in those moments? Can God take our broken, dry bones and breathe life back into them again?

Only God knows if those barren places are where He will choose to open the gates of living, refreshing water of life.

Do you trust Him to do so? Or maybe an even bigger question is, do you trust Him not to? Neither answer is easy and yet, either way, trust is involved. I want to encourage you to step out of your pain, your fear, your worry and let God be God in your life.

Trust your heart to the Lord and then ask Him to keep His promises over you, to heal and protect you and to breathe the His holy healing breath over your life. It’s ok to ask. It’s ok to accept. It’s ok to be loved by the Father.

My prayer for you is that you would indeed call out to God and allow Him the opportunity to show His love for you.

You Are Loved By God!

Your friend in Christ Jesus,

Amy

Impossible Places – A Mighty God

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I left for work on Wednesday morning knowing all I had to do was to get through the next 9 hours. Then I could finally take a long weekend off.

I was more than ready.

I shoved aside my exhaustion and kicked myself back into survival mode.

Maybe you know what that’s like. Going through the motions, no joy, no hope, with nothing more to give and the only way you’re making it through the day is by digging deep in your soul, slapping on a smile and counting the seconds until work is over and you can slump into the seat of your car so you can make your way home just to fall into bed.

Exhausted.

That was 1000% me Wednesday morning.

When my eyes popped open the next day I breathed in slowly. A bit hesitant to get excited about the upcoming time off.

With everyone still asleep in the house I pulled on my windbreaker and tennis shoes, leashed up my 2 pups and headed out for an early morning walk. Just me, God, my exhaustion and my 2 dogs.

As I walked, the realization that I had nowhere to go, no one to see and all the time in the day to do nothing began to seep into my soul. My normal break neck speed slowed. My mind began to accept I was truly on a hiatus and it was ok to let go of work, life and heartaches that had been building up.

Without warning my internal dialogue with the Lord shifted from frustrations and anger about my life, to, “Hey wait a minute, the trees are changing colors. It’s fall. I love fall. I don’t want to miss this, slow down and enjoy.”

I did.

With each step I took, I began to see and feel life.

Cool fall air filled my lungs and pulled the few wisps of hair I’d tucked behind my ears out from underneath my ballcap and tossed them to and fro across my cheeks.

I smiled.

This was my favorite time of year and I wasn’t missing it.

As I focused on the brilliant fall colors intermixed with the last green leaves of summer I tripped and almost face-planted on the sidewalk. When I looked to see what caught my foot I noticed a tree root system squeezed ever so tightly in between the cracks of the sidewalk, bursting forth and making itself known.

Impossible situations can lead to growth

It struck me then that the root was like my life at the moment. Despite the hardships, struggles, pain and pressures I was experiencing in my life, God in His infinite wisdom and love was providing a way for me to get through the tough times and still grow.

I needed to trip over that root and be reminded that God sees beneath the hard stuff of my life. He knows what takes us to our knees in heartache and He will use to create beauty.

What we see as impossible, God makes possible.

In fact, as I correlated the analogy of this trees root growing in impossible conditions and how God does the same in my life, I began to notice perfect impossibilities in the trees around me:

  • Sometimes the stripes of pain we endure mar our outward appearance but eventually will lead to beauty.
Marring stripes make for beautiful growth
  • The bumps and bruises of situational challenges cause us to have character and depth.
  • And even when we feel as if every hope is cut out of our life…
Life might cut you down but the foundation of God’s love is ever growing
But God’s love is ever growing us, even in the impossible places.

 God has the ability to take what looks to be dead and bring it back to life!

My friend, we serve a mighty God! A God who loves us so much that He absolutely refuses to leave us where we are.

Instead, whether we can see His hand in our lives, or if we’re completely blinded by the pain we are experiencing we can trust, like the root growing in impossible cemented conditions, God is a God of ever possible solutions and He will grow you in ways and in “soils” that you didn’t even think were possible.

My friend, there is hope in His love for us. God sees a way when we think all is lost and He will take our pain and create beauty out of our lives that we will not imagine or begin to understand until His work is done.

May God bless you today and show you just how precious you are to Him no matter what you are going through and where you are headed, God loves you!

“No eye has seen, no ear has heart, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9 NIV

With love and blessings,

Amy

Have Faith

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I’m on this road right now that has pulled me out of my norm.
I think it’s safe to say I’m afraid.
I like life to be predictable and yet I’m at a place right in my life where everything in my life is in upheaval. I have kids going off to college, my husband and I are a trying to decide if we’ll put down permanent roots in this new state and I want to try my hand at pursuing a secondary career.
It’s all very unnerving and a bit stressful. All of those what if’s cause me quite a bit of worry.
So why don’t I have faith?
It’s like this: I do and then…I don’t.
I’m human, and frankly, sometimes, my faith in God and how I’m feeling in the midst of challenges are two separate issues.
Spiritually I know God is good. I never doubt that. In fact, my life is a complete testimony to God’s love, grace, mercy, provision and tons of forgiveness.
But emotionally I’m still just a human. I struggle to fight back my worries and fears. I struggle with needing patience and focusing my eyes on God instead of my circumstances. I struggle with resting and being still while I wait.
I definitely have issues with waiting. J
I’m one of those people who maps out where she’s going and the best route to get there, days before I even am scheduled to leave. But now, I’m in a stage of life where I simply do not even have a clue what my destination is, let alone, trying to figure out how in the world I’m gonna get there.
I’m lost.
110% at a loss.
And that, my dear friend, completely sets me on edge. I don’t like feeling at a loss and vulnerable. I don’t like to wait and pursue God instead of a goal.
Wait…what?
Did I really type that last sentence?
I did.
Can I admit that I wasn’t expecting that sentence to come out as I typed?
I was planning on writing something else and look what happened…the truth popped out.
I guess I want God in my life on my terms especially now, in this moment of my life, when I’m constantly living in limbo-land.
My own personal hopes, dreams and direction for my life are on hold.
And I don’t like it. Especially when it’s combined with the truth that I haven’t the slightest idea where I’m headed next.
These moments are unchartered territory for me. Up until this year, my life followed a very traditional route, “get married, buy a house, have children, raise the children and then….???”
To be honest I’ve never given one thought as to what came next.
So here I am. In a new state, with a new church, barely any friends, my kids are leaving home and, and…
And what? What comes next?
I don’t know.
I honestly don’t know. It’s a horribly uncomfortable feeling.
I want my life to matter. I want it to count. I want to live a life worth living.
So how do I make that happen? Do I fill my days with work and busyness? Nah…that leaves me feeling empty.
Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my job. But as we all know, there’s more to life than work. So what is it?
I’m sure many of you might be thinking, “Oh stop your whining.” And you’d be right. There is a small bit of whining happening, but mostly frustration. Simply because I do realize that tomorrow is not promised to anyone. So while I’m on this earth I sincerely want my life to matter. I want it to matter to me, to my family and to my future generations and to those to whom God puts in my life.
So I’m on the road to figuring it out. Me and God. We’re gonna do this life together.

Along the way, I need to remember to not be afraid and have faith. God is with me always.

“So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~ Isaiah 41:10

Blessings and Best Wishes,
Amy