Praying For My Stepdaughter

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“Pray for her.”  

God whispered these words into my heart and an image of my adult stepdaughter Josie came to mind.

It’s been 6 quiet years since our last set of texts with nothing in between except tidbits of information filtered through various extended family members.

One might think it odd that God would bring Josie to mind since there really isn’t much of a relationship to speak of. As far as I knew, she was happy with her life, her husband and children and wanted for nothing. Certainly, as it pertains to me as a stepmom, I got the message loud and clear when she stopped responding. It was clear, she was an adult now with her own family and based on her lack of response to my efforts, I surmised the last thing she wanted was a stepmom.

But I know God. When He brings someone to mind, it’s for a reason. Sometimes God brings a person to mind with a nudge to take action, either through a phone call, text or dinner. Other times, like this one, the only nudge I got from the Lord was to pray and so I did. Here’s what I came up with during that time, I pray it will encourage you like it did me to never give and to always follow the leading of the Lord.

Prayer

As a mom this is a no-brainer, but when you’re a stepmom and your family story looks like its been scripted for a a Lifetime movie, exhaustion forces you into survival mode and prayer is gone faster than you can change channels.

Which is why God’s whisper was a wonderful prompt and one that gave me hope that I could finally do something. For far too long, I’d felt helpless, unable to shore up the damage being done with every tug-of-war battle that eventually pulled my family apart. This wasn’t the way I envisioned our family. I never wanted anger, tears or heartbreak. In fact, when Josie came into my life I saw happily-ever-afters, BBQ’s and sunsets. I still wanted that for us.

So for the rest of the morning the Lord and I walked through His word, digging up passages and defining areas for growth and for task. He showed me a multitude of ways I could stand in the gap for my stepdaughter, lifting her in prayer. He also reminded me that prayer doesn’t mean I need to be involved in her life on a day-to-day basis. Instead, God wanted my obedience to do the behind the scenes work He’d set before me, and to trust Him. He wasn’t promising me the Hallmark version of my life. He was offering me healing by way of praying for Josie.

What about you? How can you begin to pray for your stepdaughter today? If you don’t know, ask God. He’ll bring to mind areas of her life that need your prayers. Maybe she’s having a tough time at school or starting a new job. Or maybe she’s a new mom and struggling to balance work and home life.

Whatever God brings to mind, pray for her in those areas. Also, if you’d like to take your prayers one step farther, one of my all time favorite authors is Elizabeth George and she’s written a great book called, “A Mom After God’s Own Heart” that will lend plenty of tools and topics to prayerfully consider for your stepdaughter.

Elizabeth George

1 Chronicles 16:11 “Seek the Lord and His strength, seek His presence continually!”

Forgiveness

Oh, this is a hard one for me. You too? I think as women we tend to hold onto memories, hurts, bitterness and unforgiveness, rehashing them over and over in our minds until we’re frothy with anger and ready to lash out in pain.

Ladies, if our families are to be restored we must first look to ourselves, admit what we’re holding onto and seek God’s forgiveness. He doesn’t want us to wallow in ugly memories. He wants us to be healed. But to do that, we must first acknowledge our need of the Lord.

James 4:10 invites us to, “Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.” Can you imagine what it would look like to view your family through the lens of love and not worry that they’ll be caked with pain?

What a promise of hope!

Let us be stepmoms who ask for forgiveness and then eagerly offer it to those around us.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Restoration

The biblical meaning for restoration is to receive back more than what has been lost to the degree that the new is better than the original condition.

Don’t you love that?

Better than new!

When we think of something being restored, like an old dresser, we think of taking it back to its original state. God takes restoration one step further and promises to make it better than the way it started out!

What a promise!

In order to move forward in our relationships we need to be healed of the pain that has destroyed us and our families. God can restore our relationships; not back to the way they started but in a richer, sweeter more precious way than we can ever imagine.

I think back to when I was a young woman, newly married, no kids, when Josie came into my life, and oh my! Even my best efforts don’t seem worth much in light of the damage that’s been done. I need restoration! I need God to make me better than I was if I’m going to be a blessing to my stepdaughter. Lord, please hear my prayer and please restore me to a new improved step mom!

If that’s your prayer too, be encouraged dear friend. We serve a mighty, loving God who is in the business of restoration. Just look at His gift to us through His precious Son Jesus Christ. He gave us His Son, would He not want restoration and healing for your family? Of course He does! God is a God of restoration and right relationships.

Lamentations 3:33-34 “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning, great is Your faithfulness.”

Set Aside Expectations

I don’t know about you but this is a hard one for me because at the root of it all, I want everything to work out perfectly. However, as our family is living on the flip side of 3 decades of brokenness, you will see that all of our expectations and best efforts have failed. Why? Because we tried making those expectations work without ever seeking God. We thought we were doing the right thing, but with every failure, came more pain until all we were doing was reacting in a knee-jerk response to the previous heartbreak.

But wait! I believe God is doing a mighty work in our lives which will require us to lay our expectations at the feet of Jesus.

Let us trust God that He has brought our stepdaughters to mind for His reasons, not ours. Our job is to seek Him in every step He leads us in/through. While we walk with Him through this restoration let us ask Him to heal our brokenness, our need to be right, or acknowledged. Let us lay down our hurts, dreams and disappointments so that God can do a mighty work in us!

Trust the Lord for He is good and He does good.

James 3:17 “But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”

Pray For Healing

Be diligent in your prayers

I know I started with prayer so I’d like to end with prayer.

It goes without saying that healing is needed. Without it old wounds are reopened, new hurts are added and relationships are permanently destroyed.

Maybe your family looks like it can’t be salvaged. So does mine.

All is not lost! God is in the business of resurrecting the dead, the broken and hurting. He is into turning lives around so that His love is revealed to a waiting world.

Be encouraged my friend, I know it’s not easy being a stepmom. But I believe, even in our mistakes and our weaknesses, God can take hurt, broken stepmoms and turn us into mighty prayer warriors for our stepdaughters and our families. I believe with God we can be healed and families restored.

Will you commit to start today? Can you find it in yourself to spend time with the Lord and ask Him what His will is for you, your stepdaughter and your family? I pray you God will draw you closer to Himself and bless your requests that all that has been destroyed will be restored. I trust that He will give you the opportunity to start again, walk with Him, trusting in Him for every detail in your relationship between you, your stepdaughter and every single person involved. He is a mighty God and can do miraculous things!

Philippians 4:6-7 “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. 7 If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus.”

Standing in the gap with you.

Your friend,

Moving Forward – May Goals

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I recently attended the Flourish Writers https://www.flourishwriters.com/ online conference and had the pleasure of listening to Jevon Bolden discuss her book, Pray, Hear, Write. Her words of encouragement inspired me to set goals in areas of my life that have become stagnant and to chase God-given dreams that have never seen the light of day.

So here we go…

I’ll be tracking 3 areas of my life: Health – Home – Writing

As a healthcare worker, the past year has taken its toll both mentally and physically so it’s time to lace up those walking shoes, pull out the blender, grab the Bellicon and get back on track!

Next, it’s time to plant a future harvest. If I’m learning anything about God’s word and the spread of COVID its the necessity to be wise in my harvesting both for now and in the future. One of the biggest blessings that came out of COVID was a love of gardening.

Now that the gardening season is upon us here in the Pacific Northwest and I have 2 dozen Roma tomato plants eager to sink deep into the composted soil. Oh my! Can you just imagine what my kitchen will look like in early October as I try to can up 50+ quarts of tomatoes??? I think I might have my mom fly in to help!

Finally, here’s my scariest goal: writing. Specifically my dream of becoming a published Inspirational fiction writer.

This last goal has been buried for many years and now it’s time to pull it our of obscurity, dust it off and breathe life back into what I believe God is calling me to do.

This dream came to life years ago when a good friend of mine got me hooked on reading light romance novels. There was one secular author in particular I really enjoyed because the story lines were strong, the characters had a good moral compass and there wasn’t anything graphic about the books. The only thing missing was God. But despite this one area, I’d finish reading one of her books and think,“This is what I want to do. I want to write.”

At the time, I didn’t know Christian fiction existed so I floundered in secular writing groups. I’d show up to the group wanting to write a great story with God being showcased and ended up leaving the because the of the huge amount of nastiness directed at my efforts, “my story was too sweet or not trashy enough.”

Eventually I shelved my books and focused on being a mom of littles. I figured…one day…

This month I’ll be using Jevon Bolden’s Pray Hear Write as a fasting resource to jump start my writing and then I’ll see what is an acceptable writing for subsequent months. Let’s face it, when you’re just starting out, who knows how much you can accomplish? One thing is for certain, “You’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take!” ~ Wayne Gretzky

Stepping Out Isn’t Easy But God Knows The Way

Before I get started, my first real step is to seek the Lord. I don’t want these efforts to be self-gratifying. I want them to glorify the Lord. I want to look back on future successes and give Him all the praise! So each morning, again with Jevon’s chapter prompts I’ll be seeking the Lord for His wisdom and guidance.

Want to come along?

If you have goals, restarts, mulligans, do-overs that you want to reach, then join me! I love having company. Tell me what you’ll be working on so I can add you to my prayer list and we can hold one another accountable. We’re in it together my friend, and the good Lord willingly, there is a new beginning for each of us! Step up and step out, I’ll be cheering you onto the finish line!

May Goals

Health

  • Exercise 3 times a week
  • Drink 72 ounces of water per day
  • Lose 3 pounds

Home & Garden

  • Time to get the garden planted – tomatoes, pole beans and herbs
  • Spring clean the house
  • Time away with The Hubs (1 small getaway & 1 Rail Trail ride)

Writing

  • 2 blog posts
  • 1 chapter outlined for the Daniel bible study
  • 2 Friday morning mini-bible studies
  • Edit chapters 1 & 2 in fictional book
  • Read 30 minutes each evening

Ok friends, those are those goals…let’s be real, those seem a bit hefty, and they might be. I’ll figure it out as I go along. Doesn’t God tell us that He wants us to live life abundantly? Doesn’t He say that He wants the best for us? Yes!

I’ll be praying for you as you step out in faith, listen to the Lord’s promptings and go for your goals.

May you achieve success in reaching and in failing because both bring knowledge and growth.

To God be the glory this month as we start anew!

Until next time,

Get To Steppin’

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As an 80’s kid we used the phrase, “get to steppin'” when we wanted someone to know that they should move on, move out, move forward, get out of the way, or just get!

Movement is needed in my life. My family is at an age and stage where I’m not needed in the same capacity as I once was. There is more freedom and I have the ability to pursue one my dreams; writing inspirational fiction.

When the boys were small I dabbled in writing stories, entering them in contests, taking writing classes and participating in writing groups. Despite those efforts I always struggled with the feeling of choosing my writing or my family. Ultimately I chose to put my family first and to set aside my writing until now.

Here’s the problem, I’m frozen in my tracks. I’m feeling overwhelmed with the need for everything to be perfect and the pressure to perform, afterall, God has given me the time, tools and story ideas and I want to honor Him with my efforts.

Ugh!

So how do I get started?

God first.

Seeking the Lord is a must for me. I don’t want to take on this new venture without the Lord so I’m inviting Him in this venue just as I would in any other area of my life: marriage, kids, work, etc. I include Him in those areas, why not this? Besides, He promises to guide my steps.

This dream of being a published fiction author is scary. For some reason there seems to be more risk involved than even when I wanted to be a mother. Silly right?

Chasing this dream of being a published author is like climbing a new mountain. The terrain is unknown. There are bound to be skinned knees, trips, slips and falls and even major switchbacks.

Which causes fear to bubble up. All those questions of “can I do it? Will my writing be good enough have surfaced and stopped me in my tracks.”

My dream of wanting to be a published author seems to be wrapped up in insecurities, fears and the reality that it could all fail.

At the same time, it could soar, couldn’t it?

In life there are no guarantees, except one, if we don’t step out in faith to chase the dream God has placed in our hearts, then those dreams will die within us.

I don’t want that to happen, do you?

Friends, as we march forward into the new year, let’s walk together. I invite you to join me on this journey. Let’s share and encourage one another every step of the way.

I’ll be sharing monthly updates on my writing and I invite you to share your dreams and the steps you’re taking to step out in faith and follow God’s leading for your life.

I’ll be praying for us. May God lead our steps, guide our paths and forever be glorified through our obedience.

Until next time,

Walk With Me

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Did Jesus walk fast?

I know this is hypothetical but bear with me for just a sec.

I work in a senior living community and my office is in the “back 40” which means I’m always clipping around the building from the front office to the service hallway and into residents rooms at a fairly quick pace.

Weather permitting I will walk around the outside of the building to get a breath of fresh air and clear my head from the stagnancy of working all day in a windowless room.

This morning as I made my way back to my office I noticed the sunshine and quickly detoured outside to catch sight of this:

Stunning!
I dead-stopped in my tracks, took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

Absolutely gorgeous.

In my moment of rest, with my face to the sky, enjoying the cool winter air, I relished these few moments of solitude and stillness when suddenly a thought ran through my brain, “did Jesus walk fast?”

The question caught me off guard so I took a few extra moments to soak in the sunshine and allow the question to percolate.

Am I so busy rushing through my day that I don’t walk with Jesus?

Umm..yes.

So far as I can tell from reading scripture, Jesus didn’t rush through His days. Instead, more times than not, He tarried with those who crossed His path, enjoying time spent with them, listening, healing, speaking truth into their lives.

How much more so are we to follow in His footsteps?

I began imagining myself walking with Jesus through my day. My pace slowed and I caught myself talking to Him more. Prayers of thanksgiving and gratitude bubbled to the surface. As I’d make my way around the workplace campus I observed those around me more, I stopped to chat, share a chuckle and a smile, offering help more than I normally would. Which eventually led to more prayers for those around me.

Conversations with the Lord were continual. In fact, the more I thought about “walking” with Jesus the more I prayed and shared my thoughts with Him.

When it came to clocking out for the evening, I looked in my rearview mirror of the days events and was stunned at all that had been done. For the first time in forever, I was amazed at the peace that encapsulated my entire day. Jesus had walked with me every step of the way and I felt His presence, heard His voice in a way I’d never stopped to enjoy.

Sometimes I lose track of my life and get caught up with the societal expectations that more work is better. Honestly, the only “more” that mattered was spending time with Jesus, keeping in step with His pace, which led to conversations, laughter and a workload I had not expected.

Years ago, a question was raised in our weekly bible study group that still sticks with me to this day, “Will you recognize Jesus when you get to heaven?” The answer I think is obvious: the more time I spend walking with Jesus allows me the opportunity to get to know the One who knows me best, so when the day comes I get to go home, I will instantly know my Lord.

These days my walking patterns have changed because of Who I’m walking with. I take note when I start zipping around the campus and realize its because I’m stressed and I’m trying to make things happen in my own time and will. This is when I step outside, take a deep breath and invite Jesus to lead the way.

Friends, I want to encourage you to walk with Jesus throughout your day. Trust me, it’ll change every single aspect of your life.

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? ~Micah 6:8

Until next time,

May God bless you and keep you safe,

Forgiven

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Have you seen the One For Israel YouTube channel? Oh my! Those who share their stories mesmerize me with their transparency and joy in Christ.

Last week I watched Jonathan share his story of learning to forgive a man who tried to kill him. Jonathan endured a horrible beating, five and half months in a coma and waged the internal battle of doing as Christ commanded, “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” ~ Matthew 5:44, or seeking full justice against the man who hurt him.

Jonathan suffered at the hand of a fellow officer, Korish, while they were both serving in the army. Legally Jonathan had every right to hold Korish accountable. With one word from Jonathan, Korish would be sentenced for decades for his ruthless behavior. Not only that, Jonathan stood to be financially compensated for his suffering. All Jonathan had to do was say the word, and he’d see justice served and compensation fill his bank account.

Enter Jesus.

As Jonathan struggled to make the right decision, Jesus began changing the lives of many of Jonathan’s family members to the degree that Jonathan also started seeking Jesus and reading the bible. One day as Jonathan studied his bible he came across the Parable Of The Unforgiving Servant, (Matthew 18:21-35). Jesus told shared this parable to remind his listeners that we are all called to forgive, just as we are forgiven.

What an incredible emotional, psychological and spiritual battle Jonathan must have gone through. Can you imagine walking in his shoes?

The world screams for punishment of the foe and reparation for the injured. Jesus encourages forgiveness for all.

Jonathan’s story resonated with me is because, truth be told, there are a few people in my past whose memory make me cringe because of the pain associated with them. At the same time, my mistakes have caused others pain and to think of them now, I’m ashamed to admit the truth.

I wonder if Jonathan’s story resonates deep within you also. Maybe you’ve been horribly wronged and now you want restitution, payment of some sort. Or maybe you’ve walked in Korish’s shoes and you’ve hurt another person and are desperate for forgiveness, to make amends.

What should we do? Neither decision is easy to make. To whom shall we turn to ease our hearts, to free us from the pain?

Jesus.

Jesus teaches us to forgive just as have been forgiven. Yes, there are times when forgiving and seeking forgiveness feels impossible. But it’s not impossible. God says, “all things are possible through Christ who strengthens us.”

So today my friend, I pray you will find peace through Christ just as Jonathan has done. Seek to forgive and to be forgiven. If you don’t know the first step to take, seek the Lord, He will guide your footsteps towards healing.

I am praying for us both. Because I too need to forgive and be forgiven. Together let us boldly approach the throne of God and seek His holy face and may we be forever changed for His glory.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” ~ Matthew 7:7-8

For those who would like to view Jonathan’s full testimony please enjoy the attached video and may you be blessed.

Until we meet again, may God bless and keep you,

Empty Envelopes

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Bah humbug!

The Covid Grinch has dashed our dreams of reconnecting our senior living community residents with their loved ones this holiday season. We are in a Covid hotspot and because of state restrictions, no one except medical staff are permitted inside the building until after the New Year. Which means, I have the pleasure of hand delivering resident mail to their rooms.

When I first started passing out resident mail I was certain that due to the impact of Covid and limited family visits, there’d be tons of cards, letters and packages delivered this holiday season.

Boy, was I was wrong.

As I sorted each person’s mail, I began to notice a pattern in who received mail and those who did not. Amazingly enough, only 10% of our residents consistently received and sent multiple letters each day.

I noticed something else, those who had the most incoming and outgoing mail were Believers. Because of my tenure I knew that these were the same folks who were always seen connecting with their neighbors and staff members within the community. What I was seeing played out in mail delivery confirmed one thing, these folks were walking out their faith in one of the few ways left available to them, snail mail.

Which led me to reflect on my own life and ask, do I live out my life for others to see Jesus in me?

Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying we should act so as to garner praise from man. Loving Jesus means loving our neighbors by first seeking a relationship with Him. The more we spend time with Jesus the more He changes our lives, which in turn impacts those around us.

I believe Jesus works in our hearts and lives so that when we follow His leading to show encouragement, love and support, we do so in a manner that reflects our Lord.

Working in senior health care has given me the opportunity to put on the “fast forward 30 years…” lenses. This unique view allows me to pay attention to the lives I serve and to understand the value of choices and consequences. I’ve watched for years, those who believe God has a plan for their lives, make an impact for Him, by connecting with loved ones and community members whether it through a kind word or by sending out letters.

It’s true!

On the other hand, those who choose to isolate themselves from Jesus and the world tend to live a life of depression, loneliness and fear. Their choices cause them to walk forward into the latter chapter of their lives angry, bitter, frustrated and often alone.

Oh how I wish they knew the hope, the joy that comes from knowing Jesus!

Do you remember the AT&T commercials called “Reach out and touch someone?” The jingle was a cheery reminder to pick up the phone and call your loved one.

Learning to be a good friend, seeking opportunities to surround ourselves with a community, be it small or large, is one of God’s commandments for us as Believers and it’s also good for the soul.

Friends, we need each other. God designed us for community and relationship, first with Him and then with everyone He places in our lives, now and into our 80’s, 90’s and beyond!

My encouragement to you today is this:

Grab your bible and read, worship, pray, meditate and give thanks to the Lord above for all He has done. You are blessed!

Next, ask God to bring to mind those who need a friend. Maybe there’s a neighbor, niece, grandchild or a friend of a friend who’s going through a tough time. Send them a card letting them you know you are praying for them. Send them a copy of an article you’ve read that reminds you of them. What about forwarding a coloring page to complete that has a bible verse printed on it? Here is one of my favorites https://karladornacher.com/freebies/

Friends, there are a multitude of ways we can love our neighbor but let it begin with Jesus. Seek Him first, ask Him to lead you and to show you how to help your fellow man.

Lastly, be the example. Share God’s love with those in your life, whether its a kind word to the grocery clerk, mailman or your neighbor. Send encouraging notes, cards or an email. Make the phone call. Whatever it takes within safe reason, do so, remembering that God designed us for community.

In closing, I want you to know, I am praying for you and asking the good Lord to keep you safe, meet your needs and bless your life.

Until we visit again,

Merry Christmas my friend!
Stay safe and love God!

Sage and Sweet Peas

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“And if we know that He hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of Him.” 1 John 5:15

Hey Friends!
I’ve got to share what God did this evening when I was in the community garden.

Let me preface this story by just stating, God knows our hearts, right down to the tiniest details. In these few moments I’d like to share a sweet reminder of how much God loves each one of us.

Earlier this week I was taking stock of my spice cabinet to see which ones needed to be restocked and wouldn’t ya know it, my sage was running low.

I tried growing sage in my whiskey barrel this season but for whatever reason it didn’t take off so I figured, “well, I’ll stop by the market and pick it up before the holidays,” because frankly, what’s cornbread stuffing without sage?

If you haven’t tried it, you’re missing out on a treat, it’s wonderful!

To continue the story, I made a mental note that next year I’d plant more sage but in the meantime, I asked God to provide sage for this year.

A small request right? Right. Inconsequential really when you think of the multitude of things we face in our daily lives. And yet, I’m still trying to build this relational walk with God where I talk to Him about everything, small stuff, big stuff and even sage.

So as I was was watering in the tomatoes, over walks an elderly couple and the husband ask if I’d like, what else? A small handful of sage! I quickly said yes! and tell them that our family loves this herb and we use it all the time.

We exchange pleasantries, I thank them for the gift and quickly tell God thank you as we each go back to our garden chores.

Ten minutes later my fellow gardener comes back with an even bigger bunch of sage!

What an answer to prayer!

Can you believe it?

I was so touched by the gift because instantly I knew the amount would carry us through to next season.

Y’all God is so good!

But the story doesn’t end there. A little while later as I’m plucking green beans, the husband comes by again, and asks me if I like flowers.

“Absolutely, why do you ask?”

Shyly, this sweet elderly gentleman pulls from behind his back, a small bouquet of sweet pea flowers.

With tears in my eyes, I managed to eek out a thank you as he quickly walked away. I’m sure he thought I’d been out in the sun too long!

Sweet peas are my favorite flowers. I swear y’all I scared the poor man with my reaction. I was so touched by his gift.

Has that ever happened to you? Someone does the nicest, most thoughtful gesture and you’re immediately overcome with emotion?

That was me.

Can you see it? Can you see how God uses people, circumstances, situations and multitude of ways to bless His children?

God is so good. So abundantly giving. He knows each of us intimately, right down to what we need in our pantry like a little sage and what small gift of sweet peas will do to bring us such joy.

Friends I want to encourage you to share your heart with God. Tell Him your life, your ups and downs, your smallest wish to your greatest desire and then watch to see Him work in your life.

Pray and wait for the Lord’s blessings. They may catch you off guard and bring tears to your eyes. When those moments happen, remember to thank the Lord. Acknowledge His goodness. By doing so, you develop eyes that are always seeking His presence in your lives while developing a greater intimacy in your walk with the Lord.

Thank you for sharing your time with me today. May you be blessed by our heavenly Father in small ways and in great.

Until next time,

Mom Moves Home

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In the past 4 months, I would bet most of you have experienced change. LOTS. OF. CHANGE.

Prior to COVID my husband and I were anticipating a soon-to-be empty nest. June was our deadline to have both of our adult sons out of the home and on their own.

Until the whole world was flipped upside down and our old ways of living turned into a “new norm.”

Not ones who get too upset by change we figured, what’s a few more months? We’ve come this far with the boys at home, what’s a little more time?

But let me be real here. We were disappointed.

Now don’t get me wrong, we love our boys. Like many of you, outside of breaking the law or something like bungee jumping off a bridge, The Hubs and I would do anything for them.

But when our plans for empty nesting flew out the window, we had to seriously take a step back and reevaluate the next timeline. How long would they be staying? When would they leaving? With COVID always looming over our daily lives, would they be leaving?

Eventually our disappointment washed away, we began accepting that we don’t know what tomorrow brings. We can plan and prepare but until the opportunity to actually help our sons move out, we’re all in a status quo.

This was our lives until, 2 months ago, our lives changed yet again. Expectations of a future tomorrow where the it’ll just be me and The Hubs once again flew out the window faster than a fly being chased by a swatter.

Mom moved home.

Yep. You read that right.

Mom moved home.

Dad passed away almost 2 years ago and the grief for mom is overwhelming. She feels lost. No one and no where feels like home. Which is understandable because let’s face it, you can’t live 50+ years with a spouse and expect to go on living as if nothing’s changed the moment the funeral is over.

Grief, loss and loneliness come in waves. They crash into her day like an unexpected tsunami leaving emotional debris and destruction in its wake.

So when the call came that she was thinking she’d like to come up for the summer, I had to be really honest, like, look Ma, we’re at capacity, but if you want to jump in, we’re here to catch you.

Jump she did.

Which basically equates to 5 humans and 4 dogs under 1 roof.

Yikes!

So how are we coping-slash-surviving?

Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace upon more grace, upon more grace, grace, grace, grace and finally…grace!

Yep. All from the good Lord above.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9

God’s grace. My weakness. His perfect sufficiency.

We’ve all come to reside under one roof. Seeking rest and healing from all of our own individual trials. We are broken people with disappointments, hurt, anger, frustration and now COVID. Seriously…if my house isn’t the next Instapot ready to explode I’m not sure what is.

And yet…

God is able. With lots of prayers, God is able to give grace and understanding on a moment to moment basis.

Let’s be real here. It’s not all roses and candy. There are testy moments because of unspoken expectations, misunderstandings when we stop being the poster child of “we’ve got it all under control” and fight our human nature to simply explode on one another.

Prayers are my lifeline.

It’s not easy. Trust me. There are moments when I’m caught in the crossfire of a rebellious adult child and my mother giving me the “you-oughta-do -something-right-this-minute” look.

Yes, there are moments when my sanity is tested. That’s when I walk away. Clearer heads prevail. Emotions, tend to get me in trouble and make matters worse.

God is able.

He alone is abundantly capable to heal our damaged lives while giving us the tools to gracefully co-exist in a multi-generational home.

When we as believers sit at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to lead us in this new life we can find rest, strength, wisdom, grace and every tool necessary to walk with the grace of Christ in the challenges we face.

Yes it’s possible.

No it’s not easy.

It’s a bumpy ride. This is life and family. Not the Instagram version. I’m talking about the dark side. Unspoken hopes. Old hurts resurfacing. Bad habits driving everyone bonkers. Tears, arguments, curse words. All of it.

Maybe you’re like us. Kids and parents are knocking on your door and you’re watching your freedom and empty-nest expectations evaporate right before your eyes and you’re wondering if you’ll ever have quiet again. Or maybe you’re the ones forced to go back home and it feels like failure.

What then?

Pray. In every conversation. In every moment, seek His wisdom and then do what He asks you to do. Sometimes He’ll take you out of your comfort zone to engage in challenging conversations. Sometimes the Lord may ask you to step out and pray openly for your family at the evening meal which may start a firestorm.

Good.

Just remember, God created families. He loves your family and wants your home to be filled with love, grace, joy and peace so that you may be the example of all the goodness of God to a waiting world that destroys and tears apart families.

I hope this encourages you today to remember God’s goodness in every part of your life, whether it is empty-nesting, feeling the squeeze of family members moving in or if you’re the one moving home.

May you take time to honor the Lord and thank Him for it all.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow His precepts have good understanding. To Him belongs eternal praise!” ~ Psalm 111:10

Until next time,
Blessings and best wishes,

A Praying Momma – NOW!

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Today is the day we suit up in prayer for our families, children and spouses.

This morning I was convicted by a video of a young man who reminded believers that the time was “NOW” to pray! “NOW” is the time to honor and revere the Lord! “NOW” is the time to be obedient to God and to wait on the Lord’s every command.

NOW!

This young man’s words shook me to the core. I’ve gotten comfortable in my prayer life. I know I’ve been lax and one day I will answer to the Lord for my failings.

I stand ashamed.

So much time has been lost. So many things I should’ve said, done, believed, acted on and said and yet I did nothing. Those moments are completely lost to me with one exception, they stand as reminders that I have a choice today; do the same as yesterday or turn and ask God for forgiveness, the strength to march forward in battle for our families and to create a burning desire to follow His every word.

So Momma’s, wives, sisters, daughters, aunties, grandma’s – women of the world, stop what you are doing if it is not of God’s design and turn. Turn back to God, NOW!

Pray for your own forgiveness. Accept His holy grace and stand up in faith, as prayer warriors for yourself and your family and friends.

The time is NOW!

“If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” ~ 2 Chronicles 7:14

Nothing will change the future like beseeching the hand of God to hold you close, change your ways and give you the power to stand in the gap for those you love. I’ve heard it said, “”if your prayers are not changing you, then change your prayers.”

NOW! Is the time ladies.

Grab your bible, a journal and pen. Find a quiet spot and hit your knees in prayer. Fight for your families in prayer. Write their names down and lift them before the Lord, one by one, day after day and don’t give up simply because you can’t see what God is doing.

Have faith. Trust in God ALONE and lift your voice in thanksgiving and praise to our heavenly Father.

God’s word says: “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” ~ John 5:16b

Ladies, you can do this. If you are reading this then I believe God has blessed us with the opportunity and heart to pray together. I encourage you this day, to let go of the past and start fresh this moment. Today. NOW!

I will join you. I will pray for you. God calls us to pray as one body and we are united through the blood of our precious Savior, Jesus Christ.

May our voices storm heaven on the behalf of our loved ones and those who need God in their lives. With shouts of thanksgiving and praise let us enter the presence of the Lord!

NOW!

Until next time, remember you are loved by the Father!
I am praying for you!

Who Are You?

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Yesterday I was listening to Margaret Feinberg’s podcast, The Joycast session called “Get Out of Your Head” with Jennie Allen.

During the podcast Jennie Allen shares that she believes there are 3 core lies that we as humans tend to believe about ourselves at any given time:

  • I am unlovable
  • I am worthless
  • I am helpless

This really got me to thinking about my own life as a child and now as an adult and how those 3 little lies which carry so much weight and direct so many actions and have the ability to shape everyday decisions.

I mulled over what I heard in the podcast and really started asking myself, is this true? Do I navigate life from a place of a lie? My brain argued with my heart…yes…no…yes…maybe. Ultimately, the truth hit me hard.

Sometimes.

Being human is hard. Let’s face it. Years of old tapes, bad relationships and decisions compound our daily walk. And as always, satan is always whispering garbage in our ears.

It’s exhausting and downright defeating.

But I reasoned that since there’s at least a chance that I live my life from one of those 3 lies at any given time, and God warns us that satan does nothing but seek to kill and destroy our lives, then the best way to combat a lie is with God’s truth.

I needed to get to the bottom of the matter, if the world and satan constantly try to get me to believe that I am unlovable, unworthy or helpless, I had to ask “Lord, what is my truth?”

“For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life.” ~John 3:16

Seriously? I am loved that much? To have the Almighty Father, Maker of heaven and earth, sacrifice His Son, so that I might live?

Now that’s some serious love. And I must be worthy of that love.

Not because of what I’ve done, but because of who God is.

Mind-blowing! Unfathomably believable. I can scarcely wrap my brain around the truth of it all. God. In His infinite love for you and I gave us His Son’s life for ours so that we are able to commune with Him, fulfill our purpose with Him and sing His praises.

Oh the love of it all!

To think that I am loved that much, breaks me and absolutely crushes every. single. lie.

God says:

We are loved by the Father.

We are so precious and valuable to Him that no one and no thing can take us from Him.

And finally, ALL things are possible through Christ who strengthens us.

So take that, lies!

God has the first, last and every single word about our lives and nothing is farther from the lies than God’s truth!

Let that sink deep into your soul. Let the truth of God’s word cleanse every single lie from your life so you may begin again under the truth of God’s love for you. Then take the next step and walk in His purpose and truth for your life.

Until next time,